The Auctioneer
Leroy Van Dyke

There was a boy in Arkansas who wouldn't listen to his ma
When she told him that he should go to school
He'd sneak away in the afternoon, take a little walk and pretty soon
You'd find him at the local auction barn
Well he'd stand and listen carefully then pretty soon he began to see
How the auctioneer could talk so rapidly
He said, "Oh my it's do or die I've got to learn that auction cry
Gotta make my mark and be an auctioneer"

25 dollar 30 now 30 dollar 30 dollar
30 dollar 30 dollar give me a hollar 30 dollar
who will bid it at a 35 dollar bid?
35 dollar 35 35 make it 35 and a 35 make it 35 and a 35
Who will bid it at a 35 dollar bid?

As time went on he did his best and all could see he didn't jest
He practied on and then some night and day
His pappy'd find him behind the barn just a workin up an awful storm
As he tried to imitate the auctioneer
Said his pappy, "Son we just can't stand a havin' a mediocre man,
You gotta take that auction usin' our good name
I'll send you off to auction school and then you'll be nobody's fool
You can take your place among the best"

35 dollar 40 now 40 dollar 40 dollar
40 dollar 40 dollar give me a hollar 40 dollar
Who will bid it at at a 40 dollar bid?
40 dollar 45 45 will you make it 45 give me 45 and a 45
Who will bid it at a 45 dollar bid?

So from that morning he went to school there grew a man who played it
cool
He came back home a full fledged auctioneer
And people came from miles around just to hear him make that rhythmic
sound
That filled their hearts with such a happy cheer
His fame reached out from shore to shore he had all he could do and more
He had to buy a plane to get around
Now he's the tops in all the land so let's all give that man a hand
He's the best of all the auctioneers

45 dollar 50 now 50 dollar 50 dollar
50 dollar 50 dollar give me a hollar 50 dollar
Who will bid it at a 50 dollar bill?
50 dollar 55 55 make it 55 and a 55 make it 55 and
Sold that horse for a 50 dollar bill